From Heartbroken To In Love:
How Do I Get There?
The Love Formula:
(aka The Dating Drama Empowerment Method)
What's the pattern?
Understand where you are right now. What's the pattern I'm repeatedly experiencing in love and dating? What's the thing that keeps occurring?
Externally - choosing people who don't choose you, have a girlfriend already, live on the other side of the world.
Internally - liking someone then becoming obsessed, living in a fantasy in your head, imagining they're here with you now.
List out everything that's repeatedly happening.
Where did it come from?
Get out your tools and trowels - it's time for emotional excavation. Let's figure out what's underneath this pattern.
What's the payoff of this pattern? Example - living in a fantasy in your head might feel "safer" than being with them for real because you're in control of what's happening in your fantasy.
What's the fear here? Example - fear of getting close, fear of intimacy, feel of being left and rejected and abandoned.
Go deeper - where did that fear of intimacy come from?
Prompts - What did you see in your childhood home? What do you think this taught you about relationships? What is positive or negative? Is it supporting you in creating the relationship you want today?
How do I heal it?
What came up for you in the closed-eye process? What did you feel? What did you need when you were small?
Knowing this, what do you need in your relationships today to feel safe? What do you need from your future partner? What do you need from yourself?
Imagine being the woman who's in her dream relationship. Who is she? What qualities does she have? Who do you need to become?